You know you’re in a good marriage if…
- You don’t take it personally when she is in a bad mood.
- You don’t take for granted the thoughtful things your partner does—replacing your toothbrush or asking how the Cubs are doing when she could give a crap about sports.
- When you fight, neither one blames the other, and each takes responsibility. (Note: If you act like this, you were created in a lab by Dr. Phil and the woman who wrote The Secret.)
- The division of household responsibilities feels fair (regardless of the truth).
- You can talk to each other about what turns you on.
- You don’t feel like you’re being compared to other people.
- You still have big, openended conversations about the future—“Are we happy at our jobs?”—just like you did when you were falling in love.
- You’re so hyperaware of your partner’s shortcomings—“How can she think the elliptical counts as real exercise?”—that you fail to notice the good things she does.
- You feel like you’re constantly being compared to other people.
- You disagree in unconstructive ways: with defensiveness, contempt, or superiority.
- You avoid conflict altogether.
- You find yourself feeling jealous of the attention your spouse pays to her iPhone.
- When something big happens in your life, good or bad, the person you want to tell first isn’t your spouse.
- Not only does your partner not like going down on you, but neither of you can actually say “going down on you.” You can’t talk openly about sex, and as a result you both feel dissatisfied.
I have a kinda beef with Bruno Mars’ song “Marry You.” People use it to propose all the time now, but I feel like it’s a drunken night of empty promises. Oh we’re drunk, got a pocket full of cash, let’s do something dumb like oh idk, GET MARRIED.
But then I see videos where they use that song and I cry my eyes out cause it’s so cute so whatever already.